Apparently Nordstrom’s, for the quite fair sum of $425, will sell you jeans that are “pre-muddied.” Are you looking for that high class way to say to the world: “Hey, I’m a REAL man?” Then buy those jeans.

All the sociological and cultural implications of this aside( and I am pretty sure they are many, and SOMEBODY is likely offended by this;) I have a much better idea.

This is easy. Come work for me. You don’t have to pay $425 to look muddy and manly. Don’t bother; we will actually pay YOU to get muddy and dirty. Don’t spend your week’s allowance from Mommy and Daddy to look like a man. Get a job and BE one.

Peace and blessings to all.