This is my Father’s Day post from last year. Nothing to add to it, so here it is again. So many today either didn’t have a father, or had a dysfunctional one. Just remember, we can all have the best father, our Heavenly Father.
I’d love to post a nice, happy Father’s Day Post, but I fear this won’t be it. But here it is in all its sadness. But, there is a wonderful positive here also that I hope you all will see, and a lesson to father’s everywhere.
My father had more positive qualities than could be possibly listed, in many ways. First of all, he was quite handsome, in a very classic way. He was truly the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. He was about 6’2″, olive skinned, slender, and very well built. He apparently was one quarter Native American coming from his mother’s side of things. Rumor was his mother was half Cherokee or Reelfoot. Nobody really knows, as his side of the family was rather shrouded in mystery and rumor. Lot’s of talk various and sundry crimes on the Fry side of the family.
He was quite charming and engaging as well, and could sell the proverbial snow cone to the proverbial Eskimo. In fact, sales was what my father did for his entire life, and was very successful at it.
My father was extremely gentle and kind. I am not sure I never heard him express anger at a person in my life(other than my mother), and made quite a big deal about always being nice to other people. He was a real “golden rule” kind of guy. He had been a Marine right after WWII but was very anti war. In fact, the only conflict we ever had was when I decided to join the Army. He really thought I had become some kind of jack booted Nazi. I remember still the one and only time my father ever spanked me, he cried the whole time.
My father was literally the smartest man I ever knew. He had no degrees or formal education outside of school, but was the smartest and most well read man I ever met. Read all the classic philosophers during his lifetime. He was also quite a gifted writer as I discovered after he died. The man was a literary giant in the making to tell the truth. Found out he fancied himself a real Earnest Hemingway type of person. My father was simply put, a genius.
Now, the dark side of my father.
My Father was a cheating, unfaithful womanizer. That handsomeness and charm, combined with his profession as a traveling salesman produced very bad results. He didn’t, however, have to travel to philander, he was perfectly capable of that locally.
My father went broke. He sold and serviced dry cleaning machinery. The rise of polyester literally ruined my life. In a matter of what seemed like months we went from great success to utter lack.
My father was an alcoholic. Apparently he had been for years, but the financial ruin brought it to the forefront in bad ways. In the midst of great financial setback my father chose to abandon us instead of staying. Things worked out okay for him for a while but for me and my mother the result was years of poverty and struggling. He never recovered from that addiction, and it ultimately took his life. We reconnected while I was in college, but that was only because everybody else had given up on him. The most vivid memories of our reconnection were mostly me driving somewhere where he had failed to pay rent and was drunk in a bed, picking him up, and dropping him off at the VA Hospital for another stint in recovery. We did, however, during that time come to know each other better than we ever had. That all finally ended with a deadly, perhaps intentional, combination of pills and booze, and he was gone at the age of 54.
Most importantly, my father was lost, He did not know The Lord, nor did he wish to. He was simply too smart, too independent, and too in love with his decadent lifestyle to ever surrender his life to Jesus. I really don’t even know if anyone ever told him to be honest. He certainly never mentioned God around me.
I miss him horribly, even to this day. He never did a thing for me, but one’s father is always their father. If only he had stayed around to see my conversion, perhaps things would be different for him now. Sadly, I won’t ever see him again.
As normal, there is a Bible lesson buried in this post; I usually have one. This is my father’s day gift to all the father’s out there, and it is this one simple statement from what I believe to be one of the greatest fathers who ever lived other than God our father. That man is Joshua. Every inch a man’s man, a great warrior, and a leader of men beyond compare. He had the following to say:
June 18, 2016 at 18:09
Loved reading this again Wally
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June 18, 2016 at 18:10
Thanks Melissa, maybe someone will take a lesson from it.
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June 18, 2016 at 18:11
I’m sure they will. You are such an inspiration for those of us who do not have parents that know the Lord
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June 18, 2016 at 18:13
It’s hard when your family has lot’s of those who don’t believe, isn’t it? And our loved ones are the hardest to tell it to.
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June 18, 2016 at 18:15
Yes exactly, exactly how I feel, especially when you see so many families together at baptisms and other Christian events in our lives.
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June 18, 2016 at 18:19
Well, I would suspect you feel some differently, as your situation is quite not the same. You crossed some lines in your situation that were more than just becoming a Christian. I mean, in my world, everybody is more or less “Christian.” Not so with you
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June 18, 2016 at 18:22
I don’t know, for some reason the piece resonated with me. I’m sure your dad is so proud of you. I think we are all to some degree vulnerable when we give our lives to Christ. I just love the way you told it, just how it was, imperfect as it was.
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June 18, 2016 at 18:14
You see Wally, you are saved and I glad you are my brother.
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June 18, 2016 at 18:19
Back at you Andy.
🙂
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June 18, 2016 at 18:21
Wow Wally, you got me all choked up over here. Bless you!
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June 18, 2016 at 18:24
Hi Andy, thanks for coming by. Your thoughts are appreciated much.
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June 18, 2016 at 18:25
With your posts I always learn something new….and laugh a little sometimes too.
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June 18, 2016 at 18:26
Well,then exactly what I want is being done.I sure appreciate you saying that, though, Andi
🙂
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June 18, 2016 at 18:27
It’s the truth. 😊👍❤☝
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June 18, 2016 at 18:29
🙂
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June 18, 2016 at 18:26
I think your father is in a better place
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June 18, 2016 at 18:27
Well, I certainly hope that before he died, that someone shared the Gospel with him and he responded. Thanks for your thought, it was very kind
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June 18, 2016 at 18:43
I love this post Wally, it’s raw and honest, but what I think I like about it the most is knowing how God has brought you healing, how He has replaced what was stolen, how He has even sent you off to camp! I don’t have all the answers but I do know there is great truth behind the words, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
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June 18, 2016 at 20:51
Hey IB. I think often of a description you use…the Lost Boys. Our country is packed full of lost boys who have had that stolen. If only more of them could realize that God our Father waits eagerly to take that place in our lives, our world would change and be turned upside down.
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June 18, 2016 at 21:40
Amen, Wally. That’s what I pray for.
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June 18, 2016 at 18:57
This post had me teary eyed from the beginning. I can feel the love you have for him and it’s beautiful! I can relate to this story so much. We all get lost a time or two (or 10) in our lives. Thank you for sharing! ❤️
Also, thank you for your service!
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June 18, 2016 at 20:52
Hey Carisa, thanks for coming by. Yes, I do love him even after all of these years and despite who he was. I love what you said about getting lost a time or two, or 10. Ha, how true is that. Thanks for reading and commenting
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June 18, 2016 at 19:29
Thanks for sharing this, Wally. Family and friends let us down, that’s for sure. But we have Someone we can always count on.
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June 18, 2016 at 20:55
Well thanks for reading, Tom. We do have someone we can always count on. We also have a Father who is perfect in every way, unlike either our own real fathers or even ourselves as fathers.
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June 18, 2016 at 21:24
Yes, and we can rest in Him.
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June 18, 2016 at 19:33
Being new this is the first time I get to hear your father’s day story. I’m glad you shared it again. I understand about one’s father being one’s father. I have spoken that many a time. “He’s still my dad” I say with a shrug and a half smile. Maybe after time passes I will be able to tell the story of my dad. This again, is not that year. Tomorrow’s post is based on watching other dad’s be in love with Jesus (my dad is gone as well). I’m just glad you shared your story! Be blessed Wally and thanks again!
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June 18, 2016 at 21:05
Yeah..”He’s still my Dad.” Said those words a million times. I will make sure I read that post. Dad’s being in love with Jesus..enough of that and the world would change huh Marijo? Looking forward to reading that.
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June 18, 2016 at 22:03
Oh man would it ever change!! Dads are so pivotal in the lives of their children. And when ya see a dad down on his knees humble before God you send up a prayer of thanksgiving!
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June 19, 2016 at 06:57
And the absence of Dad can be very pivotal as well, negatively unfortunately
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June 18, 2016 at 19:53
we carry the burdens of our parents—for better or worse—and what we do with that burden is truly the piece of the puzzle which is either to be the blessing or the curse—you have chosen the blessing my friend
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June 18, 2016 at 20:56
Yes, we do don’t we Julie. You know I read that this is what the OT reference to the sins of the fathers being visited on the sons refers to. The choices we make can damage generations. Thanks Julie
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June 18, 2016 at 20:57
you got that right Wally but Grace allows that cycle to be broken—praise God!
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June 18, 2016 at 21:02
Indeed praise God Julie.
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June 18, 2016 at 21:02
🙂
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June 18, 2016 at 23:10
I remember reading this. Wow was that a year ago? Time goes by so fast
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June 19, 2016 at 07:06
I sure does Brother Jim, it sure does.
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June 19, 2016 at 03:48
This was very moving to me, Wally. My dad made great roast beef, and homemade potato salad. He brought home what seemed to us as kids fabulous cakes and pies, from the deli he and my mom owned. They worked incredibly long hours, year in and year out. We weren’t wealthy, but we never did without. Unfortunately, my father had anger issues. He, also, molested me. I miss him, despite that.
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June 19, 2016 at 07:02
Wow, Anna, that really hurts to hear. I just don’t get that, how any man could do that with any child, much less his own. I am glad you have found forgiveness for him, however.
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June 19, 2016 at 04:14
Wally, we have similar stories with one exception. My dad was a Christian. He too was a brilliant man, self taught. He was charming yet verbally hurtful. His philandering occurred within our church family – a love affair that continued throughout his life. I forgave him for that, but many of my growing up years were wasted because of it. I couldn’t understand him until I became a parent myself and realized my own shortcomings. I can only pray that he made pace with God before he died.
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June 19, 2016 at 07:04
Wow Kathy, that must have made things somewhat uncomfortable for you and your family, unless of course they managed to keep it totally secret. Was he a leader in you all’s church at the time?
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June 19, 2016 at 11:33
I was only thirteen at the time and felt the entire thing was my fault. I felt I could never live up to his expectations and that’s why he wasn’t happy with being in our family. As I grew older, I realized dad was facing a lot of demons. He fell victim to adultery with a woman who was also married and had kids. My dad was a servant in the church and the affair was obviously kept secret, because we were never asked to leave. My dad stayed in the marriage because his own father had deserted his family and he didn’t want that to happen. We all have our skeletons.
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June 19, 2016 at 15:16
13…bad age for something like that. I’m really sorry for it all Kathy. I do, however, completely understand. Indeed we all have our skeletons.
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June 20, 2016 at 09:57
wally, tears for your father… joy for your children… I am glad the Lord had his hand on you.
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June 20, 2016 at 10:11
Thanks, Bill. Actually, prayers for my children to be honest. They were grown before I came to know Jesus…so they are not believers. I taught them well it seems.
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June 20, 2016 at 10:28
prayers it is…
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